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I Like Beaver Butts and I Cannot Lie
"I Like Beaver Butts and I Cannot Lie" is the fifth episode of the second season of Stoked, and the 31st overall. Summary Fin is stoked to compete against Reef and Broseph, but the dudes blow off their surf match to snack on Beaver Tails instead. Plot Reef, Fin and Broseph are out surfing at the hotel beach when Reef and Broseph head to shore to meet Johnny, who has returned from a run for beaver tail donuts in Sunset Beach. After the guys inhale the scent of the freshly-baked pastries and take their bites, they look out to the beach and imagine that the beach regulars have all turned into beautiful bikini-clad women, but when a blonde girl in a purple bikini walks up and starts talking to the guys in Bummer's voice, they snap out of their daydream quickly when the blonde bikini girl morphs into Bummer, who ranks Reef, Broseph and Johnny out for slacking on the job, gives Broseph a strike for what he thinks is a smart-alec comment and orders him and Reef back to work. After he makes Johnny hand over the beaver tail box, Bummer takes the last remaining tail in the box and bites into it, then imagines the Marvin Family as happy guest (with Surfer's Paradise hats and shirts) then is impressed by the taste that he plans a scheme to make money off them. In the hotel lobby, Fin meets up with Reef and Broseph and discovers why they bailed early on their surf session when she hears about the beaver tail run. Bummer catches up to the gang and tells Fin to get back to work, then recruits Reef and Broseph for an assignment. Over at the Pirate Ship, Emma is on duty at the front entrance when Lo walks by with a worried look on her face. When Emma asks what's wrong, Lo tells her that she fears she is losing her tan. Emma tells Lo not to worry about it, but Lo replies that she has a "tanutation" (her word for a tan reputation) to maintain and worries that she might be mistaken for Emma if her tan continues to fade. Just then, Snack Shack walks by and says hello to Lo while addressing her as "Emma", causing Lo to run off with a scream as Emma takes thinly-veiled offence. In the Pirate Ship kitchen, Bummer orders Reef and Broseph to bake up some imitation beaver tails to sell on the beach so he can make extra profits. After Bummer leaves them to start baking, Broseph, who has been busy cleaning out his left ear, shakes out what appears to be dried earwax from his ear, which lands on the counter. Reef mistakes the dried earwax for brown sugar and mixes it into the dough, then fries the dough in a deep fryer. Bummer later returns and samples one of the knockoff tails, but his initial pleasure turns to concern as he chews on the bite. A few minutes later, Bummer is taken by ambulance to the hospital as a result of food poisoning from eating the contaminated faux-tail. Up in a guest room Fin is cleaning, she pauses to watch TV on the bed and eat snacks from the room's mini-bar when Bummer calls her from his hospital bed and tells her, to her delight, that she has been reassigned to fill in for Reef as surf instructor while he sends Reef on a "special mission". Fin is thrilled to hear about taking over as surf instructor and plans to rub it in Reef's face when Bummer calls back and tells her she owes $29.67 for the mini-bar she raided. On the road to Sunset Beach in a golf cart driven by Broseph, Reef is feeling jazzed about the money Bummer gave him to buy beaver tails in town for resale at the hotel beach when he tells Broseph that he has other plans for use of the money. When the Whalebus drives by and several cute girls wave at the guys from the bus windows, Reef and Broseph both decide to put the money to use in town, taking the same girls bikini shopping at the Surf Shack later on. Reef quickly realizes that all the beaver tail money is gone, spent on the girls from the Whalebus, when Broseph digs out a five-dollar bill from his pocket. Back at the Pirate Ship, Emma is serving Mr. and Mrs. Marvin when Lo walks by, now sporting a deeper tan than she had earlier. Emma wonders how Lo got the tan so quickly when the rich girl is banned from the hotel spa by her father, which Lo explains she got the base for by spending five minutes in the sun. Emma then asks why Lo smells like chemicals and, strangely, bacon, but Lo shushes her friend as a guy walks by and compliments Lo on her new tan, leading her to declare to a puzzled Emma that her "tanutation" is still intact. At the Beaver Tail Bakery in Susnet Beach, Reef and Broseph use their last five dollars to try to persuade Snack Shack to sell day-old beaver tails at a discount, but Snack Shack refuses on principle to sell the stale donuts before hinting to the guys that the discarded tails are in a dumpster nearby, which he lets them have for free. A gleeful Reef and Broseph then return to the hotel towing the dumpster full of day-olds behind the golf cart. At the hotel beach, Fin finishes a surfing lesson with a guest when she tells Mr. Marvin it's his turn to learn how to surf, but Mr. Marvin refuses to enter the water until he waits a full half-hour, pointing out that he had eaten earlier and he still has two minutes to go before he can go in. Mr. Marvin, however, cannot wait around and he heads off to grab another bite elsewhere. Fin soon finds out the reason for Mr. Marvin's departure when she finds Reef, Broseph and Bummer at a food stand selling "Beaver Butts", their name for the resold beaver tails with icing placed on them, with Reef making a hip-hop sales pitch to the gathered crowd around the stand. Fin, who witnesses the crowd go nuts for the Beaver Butts, disbelieves what she has seen. At the staff house, Emma's shocked to see that Lo's tan has gone from brown to orange--Lo initially assumes that Emma's jealous of her tan before her friend points out the actual color of her tan, which Lo is shocked to discover. Lo excuses herself and quickly dashes off to the bathroom, leading a suspicious Emma to follow her there. In the bathroom, Emma asks why Lo's tan is brown again and what she has hidden behind her back. Lo initially refuses to admit having anything behind her back and claims that Emma's color-blind, but Emma tells her that she can see the bottle she is hiding in the mirror, forcing Lo to show her what she has. It turns out to be a bottle of instant tanning cream from a brand called "Bacon-Bake Tan," which is made up of 15% real hog fat (explaining the bacon smell that Emma noticed on Lo earlier) and, according to the directions on the back, must be reapplied every twenty minutes to prevent your skin from turning orange. Lo explains that the fake tanner was all she could afford to buy, but Emma implores her to stop using it because of the undesirable side effect and the smell. When Lo claims that she can stop using the fake tanner anytime, Emma puts that claim to the test by taking the bottle away from a chagrined Lo. On a second beaver tail run, Reef and Broseph meet with the Whalebus girls again and take them on another bikini shopping spree with the money Bummer gave the guys for beaver tails. Outside the hotel, Emma throws the bottle of fake tanner in the garbage, but an orange-faced Lo, following not far behind, fishes the bottle out and reapplies the cream to turn her tan brown again. Reef and Broseph then arrive at the hotel with the dumpster full of stale tails when Bummer catches them and figures out what they did with the money he gave them. Now knowing that the guys have been getting the day-old tails for free, Bummer decides not to give them any more money for their tail runs and proclaims that his profit margins on the Beaver Butts will now soar as he declares that he will open a second Beaver Butt stand at the hotel. At the beach, a disgusted Fin rails against the state the beach has been left in due to the popularity of Beaver Butts, finding discarded wrappers littering the entire beach area. Reef then teases Fin about the beach needing maid service, but Fin brushes off Reef's jibe and tells him she has to wait for Mr. Marvin for his surfing lesson. Reef directs Fin's attention to a crowd where Mr. Marvin is crowdsurfing as he munches on a Beaver Butt, then Bummer arrives and tells Fin that because no one is surfing now because of the popularity of the Beaver Butts, he directs her to clean up the beach of the discarded Beaver Butt wrappers. Fin takes a taste of the Beaver Butt Reef left her and notes that it's simply a Beaver Tail with more icing and says, "How can they sell Beaver Tails for less than a Beaver Tail?" With her suspicions aroused as she sees Reef and Broseph work up a storm for the hungry crowd around their stand, a frustrated Fin sets off to investigate. Back in the staff house, Lo is horrified to find that her tan from the fake tanner has turned orange again as she looks in the reflection of a frying pan, so she slathers more of the cream on her face to turn the tan brown again as Emma comes in and says that she smells bacon, asking Lo if there is any left. When Lo answers no and takes off quickly, Emma becomes suspicious when she finds the pan cold and unused. Lo then heads to the beach, where the bacon smell from her fake tanner draws the attention of several guys she walks past, as well as a pig, who takes a sniff of Lo and sheds a tear as she lounges on a sun lounger. Lo proclaims her "tanutation" to still be intact as she notices the same guys from earlier, along with a bear this time, following her back to the hotel. At the Beaver Tail Bakery, Fin questions Snack Shack about how Reef and Broseph have obtained beaver tails to resell under a different name at the hotel. Snack Shack offers to help Fin uncover the truth in exchange for her spending some time with him, to which Fin shudders before agreeing to do so. Back at the beach, Johnny airs his concerns to Broseph and Reef about the Beaver Butt industry killing the surf vibe and littering the beach, and Broseph sees for himself as the crowds have become addicted to the Beaver Butts, while Reef witnesses the Kahuna begging for spare change on the beach to get more Beaver Butts. When Reef tosses away a Beaver Butt, it lands on the beach where Kahuna and Ripper, both seemingly reduced to feral states, begin growling like animals at each other over the stale pastry, to Johnny's shock. Even the denizens of the Lobbyquarium, including Buster the shark and Sonny, have become hooked on Beaver Butts. Back in Susnet Beach, Fin taste-tests a beaver tail first in her investigation, then tries a Beaver Butt and finds both taste the same, then Snack Shack pulls out a microscope, checks Fin's Beaver Butt and finds a telltale sign proving that the Beaver Butts are actually beaver tails. Fin wonders how Reef was able to get beaver tails to resell when Snack Shack excuses himself to throw out a bag of stale tails when he discovers, to his horror, that his dumpsters behind the bakery have been stolen. In the staff house bathroom, Lo prepares to slap on some more fake tanner when the door closes and she is surprised to find Emma standing behind her. Lo tries to hide the bottle behind her back as she greets Emma, who tells her about the mirror again. Lo tells Emma she needs to continue using the fake tanner to maintain her tan and keep from turning orange, but Emma reassures her that the orange color will fade in time and that she is there to help as she gives her a hug. Emma then pulls back the bathroom's shower curtain and reveals Johnny and Wipeout standing in the tub, making Lo realize that she has walked into an intervention. Lo does not want to give up the fake tanner despite its side effects, leaving Emma no choice but to scrub the brown color off of Lo's face, revealing the hideous orange color underneath. A horrified Lo, now forced to see the truth about the fake tanner, begins to cry as she finally promises to give up the tanner for good, and Emma hugs her again as she promises to support her friend's attempt to kick the fake tanner habit. Back at the Beaver Tail Bakery, Snack Shack is indignant over the theft of his dumpsters while Fin washes her mouth out with a bar of soap and scrubs her tongue with a brush, disgusted over finding out that she had eaten stale beaver tails from the garbage. Fin and Snack Shack intend to set out to expose Reef's scam, but not before Snack Shack reminds Fin to use some mouthwash, telling her that he had used the brush she was using a moment earlier to scrub toilets, which makes Fin puke when she hears it. When Fin and Snack Shack return to the hotel beach, Fin sets out to blow the Beaver Butt scam out of the water and make sure Reef loses, while telling Snack Shack she doesn't need his help anymore. To Reef, Broseph and Bummer's horror, Fin reveals what she knows about the scam and refuses the guys' attempts to bribe her to keep quiet, then tells Reef point-blank that she wants him to admit what he's done. When Reef tries to stall, Fin threatens to expose the origins of the Beaver Butts, forcing Reef to admit to what he did. Fin goes to the gathered crowd and proclaims victory over Reef, but Snack Shack dampens Fin's win when he reveals the dumpsters where the Beaver Butts came from, setting off a chain reaction as the now-sickened crowd (including Buster and Sonny in the Lobbyquarium) begins vomiting en masse. Later at the Beaver Tail Bakery where a lineup has gathered, Snack Shack tells the crowd that because of the scam, Bummer has been court-ordered to pay for the beaver tails which will be supplied free to the jubilant patrons while Reef and Broseph have to bake them. Fin, who is also at the bakery to help out, protests her presence there, wondering why she has to help, when Snack Shack points out to her that she became guilty by association when she publicly gloated about her win over Reef. When Fin tells the guys that they are out of sugar for the beaver tails, Broseph gets the idea to shake more dried earwax out of his ear, which then goes right into the tail mix. The episode ends with the camera moving up to the Beaver Tail Bakery sign, where the beaver logo winks at the audience, a sure sign of what is coming. Trivia *Reef notably breaks the fourth wall when he looks at the audience to make his Beaver Tails sales pitch. Goofs * Bummer states that he never had Beaver Tails before, which contradicts the fact that he ate one before when on a date with Reef (who was dressed as a girl, Sandy Beaches) in "Mr. Wahine". However he could have been so surprised it was Reef that he erased that memory. * In the scene where Emma scrubs the brown color from the fake tanner off of Lo's face to get to the orange color beneath, Lo's face is already orange when Emma begins scrubbing. * Despite Reef saying that Bummer would never smile and that Bummer tries and fails repeatedly at smiling, he is seen smiling several times throughout the episode and the series. * Although Lo worries about becoming "as pale as Emma" while commenting to her friend about losing her tan, this comment is a goof on Lo's part, as Emma has a noticeably darker tan than Lo does. Appearances * Reef * Broseph * Fin * Emma * Lo * Johnny * Andrew Baumer * Snack Shack * The Kahuna * Marvin Family (only Mr. Marvin speaks) * Chester Grizzle * Ripper (does not speak) * Wipeout * Buster * Sonny * Seagull * Pig * Bear * Tropical Tan Models * Mrs. Nichols (cameo, not named) Quotes Lo: Emma, if I stay this pasty, people might mistake me for you. No offence. Emma: (Sarcastic) None taken. Snack Shack: (To Lo) Greetings, Emma. (Lo screams and runs off) Emma: (Sarcastic) None taken at all. Bummer: Okay, chowder-heads, mix this dough with sugar and fry me up some imitation Beaver Tails. Broseph: Dude? Bummer: You're gonna sell them on the beach, and I'm gonna be rich! Reef: Man, why didn't we think of that? Bummer: Well, my theory is your parents dropped you as babies, but it could simply be your single-digit IQs. Here. Broseph, you're the soup chef. Broseph: Okay, guy, but I don't know if soup really goes with Beaver Tails. Bummer: Definitely some kind of head injury. Mr. Marvin: Who am I kidding? I can't last another two minutes without a Beaver Butt! Fin: Did you just say "Beaver Butt"? Mr. Marvin: Yeah, I get it from those guys. Reef: (Singing) Hey yo, old folks, betties, and dudes, listen up 'cause the Reefster's got some news! Peeps be comin' from far and near to get some tasty Beaver Butts right here. Take a tip from us, your favorite Butt-tenders. Broseph: Eat them quick! Reef: Eat them fast! Broseph/Reef: Toss them in blenders! Reef: No need to hit any other store— Broseph: Just gobble them down and come back for more. Reef: You can have 'em plain; you can have 'em with icing; Broseph: You can have 'em all day Bummer: At very fair pricing! Reef: We're your brahs— Broseph: Yeah, we're your dudes— Reef: So always remember: get your Beaver Butts here Broseph/Reef: From your favorite Butt-tenders! (The guests cheer) Fin: Oh, you have got to be kidding. Emma: (Gasps) Lo! Oh my gosh! Look at you! Lo: What's the matter? Jealous of my killer tan? Emma: Tan? More like tangerine! You're orange! Lo: (Looks at her arm) Aah! Um, excuse me for a moment. (Runs to the bathroom and puts on some more tanning cream) Emma: (Walks in the bathroom) Lo, how is your face brown again, and what's that behind your back? Lo: Nothing, and I think you might be color blind. Emma: Lo, I can see the bottle in the mirror. Lo: Fine. I couldn't take it, so I bought some instant tanning cream, but you can't tell anyone. Emma: I know; I know. Your "tanutation." (Reads the bottle) Bacon-Bake? Made with fifteen percent real hog fat? Lo: Don't judge me; it was all I could afford. Emma: (Continues reading the bottle) Reapply every twenty minutes to prevent oranging. Lo, do you want to look like a jack o'lantern? Lo: No, but I have to do something to stop looking like (Holds out Emma's arm) that! Emma: What you have to do is stop using that stuff. You reek like a ham left out in the sun! Lo: I will stop. I can stop any time. Emma: (Takes the bottle) Good. Then now should be fine. Fin: Ugh, what a mess! Reef: Good thing you're here, dude. The beach totally needs maid service. Fin: My break, benny. My first surf lesson'll be here any minute. Reef: Mr. Marvin? The only thing he's surfing today is a crowd. Broseph: Johnny front desk guy! What's shaking? Johnny: Couple of thighs. (Referring to Mr. Marvin) That guy's belly. Broseph: Yep. Another satisfied customer. Johnny: Broseph, aren't you worried that the Beaver Butts are killing the surf vibe? And trashing the beach? Broseph: (Looks at the littered beach and some guests who are getting addicted to the Beaver Butts) I totally didn't realize. Maybe you're right. Maybe these Butts are bad for the beach. Reef: Bro, two Choco-Butts for the ladies! Broseph: I'm on it! Snack Shack: I cannot let these simpletons fool you any longer! People, Beaver Butts are garbage! Mr. Marvin: Everyone knows fried dough ain't healthy food. (He and the crowd laugh) Snack Shack: Perhaps I wasn't clear! (He kicks down the fence, revealing a dumpster. The crowd gasps) Chester: They've been serving us out of dumpsters! (A puke fest ensues as Snack Shack turns on some music and dances) Snack Shack: Consider this Butt stand closed! Bummer: NOOOO! (Begins crying) My money! Gallery Category:Episodes Category:Season 2